The Fawn/Avoidant Type

You are a hybrid of the fawn trauma response and avoidant attachment.

You engage in conflict avoidance, denying your own needs often becoming a scapegoat and target for abuse in your relationships.

The Fawn/Avoidant Type

The fawn-avoidant type is hyper focused on the moods and expectations of others.  When conflict arises they often blame themselves for not being able to make things work, covertly doubling down on efforts to win them back.  All while never realizing they too have emotional needs that are worthy of being met.  Yet they will retreat the moment that bids for affection are not reciprocated.  The contradiction deepens  as they feels shame for having needs in a relationship and resentful when they aren’t met.   

They hate the idea of being seen as needy and instead focus on being worthy of love by twisting themselves tightly around meeting every else’s needs but their own.  While they avoid being seen as needy, deep down they crave connection, yet when their relationships require too much vulnerability they pull away at the first sign of abandonment or affections not being reciprocated in an effort to avoid being hurt.  

During conflict, the intermittent avoidance resulting in disappearing acts which can look like ghosting for a few days, withdrawing and becoming and non-responsive for a few hours.  Their flavor of avoidance one one hand can look like the silent treatment, however they may also be unsure of what to do in order to fix things in that moment.  However, when they recover, they will quickly shift into love-bombing and people-pleasing in an effort to bring back the honeymoon period.  This is also known as push-pull behavior which maintains a consistent pattern of emotional volatility and uncertainty about the relationship.  When they return, they’ll do everything they can to avoid conflict by becoming hyper-compliant in order to makeup for their behavior.

This type is also a chronic caretaker, neglecting their own needs as they focus on everyone else.  They over-function and over-give in relationships in order to secure love, affection, attention and/or to keep the peace.  This anxiety about working for acceptance may also look like oversharing then later withdrawing when feeling they’ve said too much.

If they aren’t performing in their relationships then they’re unsure of the role they play as their entire presentation is centered around working for love and retreating once they get it.  In many ways, this is an unconscious process done to manage their partners.  Do just enough to keep them close but far enough to keep intimacy and vulnerability at bay.  This allows them to never really allow their partners to see the real version of them with real emotional needs.  

This type may also find themselves in financially abusive and other transactional relationships because they’re often performing in exchange for potential benefits.  They over-give for acceptance/love/attention and they may for example receive money, housing or other transactional benefits for their performance.

Hey there! I'm Ginger

I am a psychotherapist and founder of Loving Me After We where I help women overcome heartbreak, increase self-love and confidence after a toxic relationship so they can become the best version of themselves.

Thanks for taking the quiz!

I love that we’re able to share this information to help you dig deeper into the issues that torpedo your relationships.  Using this information, now you’ll recognize the patterns that secretly torpedo your relationships so that you can reset your heart and begin to feel safe and loved in your relationships.

What's Next? Join The 90 Day Heart Reset!

Self-paced course designed to:

  • Increase your awareness and create a growth mindset around your archetype
  • Unpack the life events that have contributed to your current archetype
  • Learn how to rewire your nervous system and discover the essential practices that help you feel safe and embody emotional security
  • BONUS: Conscious Dating Guide
  • BONUS:  Healing path for your archetype
  • BONUS: Communication scripts
  • BONUS: Self-talk scripts
  • BONUS: Love-languages for your archetype

1.

Step one

Awareness

Pay attention to where you feel triggered, irritated and on edge in your relationship.

JOURNAL:

  • Where do you feel the most out of control and fearful?
  • Journal about what this feels like as well as your fears around how it shows up in your relationship and what it would mean if these fears come true?
  • Have they?  If so, when was the first time these feelings landed for you?

2.

STEP two

the inner work

So that you can finally do this really amazing thing you’ve always wanted. 

So that you can finally do this really amazing thing you’ve always wanted.  

3.

STEP three

Body/Somatic Work

  • Learn how to rewire your nervous system so that you can heal your attachment style and the triggers which create your trauma responses
  • Discover the essential practices that help you feel safe and embody emotional security

4.

STEP four

Join the heart reset for $197

Self-paced course designed to:

  • Increase your awareness and create a growth mindset around your archetype
  • Unpack the life events that have contributed to your current archetype
  • Learn how to rewire your nervous system and discover the essential practices that help you feel safe and embody emotional security
  • BONUS: Conscious Dating Guide
  • BONUS:  Healing path for your archetype
  • BONUS: Communication scripts
  • BONUS: Self-talk scripts
  • BONUS: Love-languages for your archetype

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